I am lucky enough that I dont look, act or sound gay. When I meet people for the first time, I never set off anyone’s gaydar. People always just make the assumption that I am straight. I would never ever say that I am straight acting as I never act straight. I just act like me, I just be myself and lucky for me, being myself never sets off anyones gaydar. Don’t get me wrong, there are times where I shake my shit to Lady Gaga and everyone in a 10 kilometer radius instantly knows I’m a homo, but 99% of the time this isn’t the case.
I know this isnt a luxury that a lot of gay men have. Some guys raise people’s suspicions about their sexuality just by the way they talk, the way they walk or the way they act. I am fortunate enough not to be one of these guys. It affords me the opportunity to reveal my sexuality whenever I please or feel is appropriate. I am very grateful for this as I would absolutely hate having to put on an act or not be myself just to ease people’s suspicions.
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be though. It does have it’s downfalls. I recently met some new people and straight away became one of the boys, drinking beers, talking bout “bitches” and all round being one of the lads. It’s great to be able to do this but the problem is that once I reveal my sexuality to them things change. I understand that, no straight guy wants to be best mates with a gay guy, and even if they do, the dynamic of the friendship undoubtedly will change.
Is this just me? Does any gay guy out there have a straight male best friend? Do you think your relationship with him is different than if you were both straight. I’d love to hear about a gay guy/ straight guy bromance that is unaffected by your sexuallity. Let me know in the comments or if anyone has an awesome story email me at email@example.com and I will post it on here for everyone to read.
Now that I knew I definitely wasn’t gay I started dating girls. If I thought about men while I jerked off but only dated women that totally meant I was straight…. Right? In my head it did. I had a couple of girlfriends that lasted a few weeks or so and one girl I would make out with every now and then. Every time it went to the bedroom I told myself and told them that I “Didn’t want to rush things, I wanted to take it slow”. Usually I would finger bash them til they got off and apparently I was quite good at it so it never really became a problem. Talk about wasted talents.
I thought it was all sorted but by this stage I was 18 and I still had my virginity or “my V plates” as my mates liked to call it. They would constantly give me shit about it to the point where it really started to bother me. When the jokes turned to suggestions that maybe I hadn’t had sex because I was gay, I knew I had to do something about it. I also figured that maybe it would fix everything and get me over this stupid phase that I was still going through.
Around the same time I met a nice english girl, she was friends with one of my mates girlfriends. She really seemed to liked me and I had a lot of fun hanging out with her. We started dating and things were going surprisingly well. A few weeks in we were going to meet everyone down the pub so I went around her house after work.
Warning: If you are a relative of mine, weak in the stomach or just don’t want to know details about my sex life then I suggest you skip the next part
We had a few drinks and then she pulled me into her bedroom. I thought I could work my magic and in no time we would be at the pub. We laid down facing each other making out for a bit. She grabbed my dick and started rubbing it against her bush. It felt weird. The next thing I knew she pushed it downwards and slipped it inside her pussy. I was shocked, I didn’t know what was going on. It was exciting, I was finally losing my virginity! After about 30 seconds her parents called out “Do you still want a lift to the pub?” and we had to stop.
We went to the pub and had a good night out with all our friends but we both had other things on our mind. We headed back to mine and were both keen to finish what we started. I pulled out a condom and put it on. We started missionary, it didn’t feel the best so I flipped her over and tried doggy style. I still felt nothing. I started to panic. All my mates talked about sex like it was the best thing on earth. I was finally doing it and I felt nothing. I felt dead inside. It wasn’t exciting at all. In fact it was boring me. This couldn’t be right? Maybe I was doing it wrong? Nope I was doing it right, but why did it feel so wrong?
I thrusted for a bit longer, let out a moan and pretended to orgasm. I quickly pulled out, threw the condom on the floor and lied down on my stomach with my hard on pressed up against me. I laid there with my mind racing. Maybe I wasn’t as straight as I thought? I was more confused than ever but one thing was for sure, I was going to have to dump that girl coz I sure as hell couldn’t go through that again……..
When I was young I started to realize I was different. I slowly but surely was figuring out that I was gay. I didn’t want to be gay. I wanted to live a normal life, I wanted to fit in. I didn’t want to be different.
As I got older I realised that I liked different things to all the other boys. I liked different music, different clothes, different movies. I started to realise that if I was ever going to fit in that this needed to change. That’s when it started. I found things that I had in common with other boys and only talked about those interests when I was with them. I would then go home and do the things I liked that I knew made me different. I unknowingly at a young age had made a divide in my life, what I would later call my gay world and my straight world.
As I got older my straight world became a larger part of my life. I became a tradie, I would drink with the boys down the pub, talk about cars and do everything I thought a man was supposed to do. My gay world was taking a back seat for a while but it wouldn’t be long before it came bursting out. After a couple of years I admitted to myself and everyone else that I was gay. I was finally free to be open about my other world. The problem was that I had spent so many years keeping these worlds separate, it was just normal to me to keep doing that.
I went off by myself and explored my gay world and made gay friends. When I had my fill I would come back and do the same old things I had always done with my straight friends. Over the years these worlds grew and changed, completely independently of each other. The two worlds never mixed.
Occasionally I would get drunk or be tired and Gay Ty would slip out in front of my straight friends or Straight Ty would slip in front of my gay friends. Whenever this happened, people would be absolutely shocked. I actually had people sit down and tell me how much it freaked them out, how they thought they knew me but all of a sudden a complete different person was there… in my body.
Only recently have I realised that there is no gay world or straight world…. They are the same fucking place. On top of that I’m starting to realise how unhealthy it is to have 2 completely separate personalities. It’s something I have struggled with for a long time. As long as I can remember, I actually don’t know any other way to live. I could never give up either one (not for lack of trying) they are both a massive part of who I am. Maybe it’s time to be the best of both? I can’t expect peace within the world until I find peace within myself right?
I’m a pretty ordinary looking guy and I know people mean the best when they say this to me but it absolutely infuriates me when straight people tell me “Your alright because your not that gay, I just hate those gay guys that are like all in your face about it”. Oh well, I guess your ok then, it’s not really homophobia if you only hate some gay people!
But hey, being a gay man you kinda get used to straight people not really getting it sometimes. What abso-fucking-lutely makes me want to loose my shit is when gay people pull the exact same shit!
All this no femmes, no queens, straight acting only bullshit pisses me off more than anything! If you had any idea how much courage these guys have, to look and dress however they feel most comfortable and not let all of the narrow minded bigots out there get them down, you would commend them. You want to talk about being a real man? That’s being a real man, having the strength to be yourself regardless of what anyone thinks.
I’m so sick of people beating down femmes or guys that are too gay. I have nothing but respect for this type of guy, I actually wish that I had the courage to be more like them.
So always remember, there’s no such thing as too gay, but there is such thing as too bigoted!
If your guilty of spreading hate against the really gay guys share this post and earn some good gay karma!
So my brother is your normal 21 year old Aussie straight dude. He’s a tanned tradie with muscles everywhere. He used to be a fighter but now hes a surf lifesaver. Hes an all round good bloke who likes nothing more than sitting around with his mates drinking on the weekend. Being younger I dont expect him to be so grown up but the other day he shocked me.
I made him watch the video “It’s Time” from my last blog. He watched intently and then at the end turned to me and said “That’s Awesome Man”. I was chuffed but didn’t expect what happened next. He turned back to the screen and said “How do I put this on my Facebook?”. I was speechless, I expected him to like it but not that much! I got my breath back and quickly told him how. As he loaded it on I asked “Don’t you care what your friends will think?”, He turned to me and said “Nah man, I’m hell passionate about this. I’m even not gonna get married until you can get married too”
I almost burst into tears and fell on the floor in a crying mess right then and there. It was probably one of the nicest things any one has ever said to me. In that moment I realized my little boy brother was now a man, a good man. I’m so proud of him. I can only hope other people his age feel the same. Maybe change is near, maybe “it’s time”.
On my facebook page a few weeks ago I asked for the “Top questions straight girls ask gay guys”. Below is the video featuring the top 3 questions. If you want to play a part in future videos make sure you “like” the facebook page!