*Warning – today’s blog is quite graphic. If you have a weak stomach, are easily offended or are related to me then you probably shouldn’t read on*
I’m a big fan of Bareback porn. For those straight readers out there who arent quite sure what I am talking about, bareback porn is gay porn where the guys don’t use condoms. I think if I am going to practice the most ultimate form of safe sex – sitting by myself watching porn, then condoms don’t need to be involved. I don’t condone spreading diseases or anything and fully believe that the actors should go through a rigorous testing process to screen infection out and minimize the spread of things like HIV.
The problem is, a lot of guys don’t really think about the fact that these actors are going through these processes to minimize their risk of infection. Or even worse, watch one of the thousands of amateur videos out there of guys barebacking with absolutely no regard for their health. Having easy access to all these videos of guys having unprotected sex kind of desensitizes the whole situation. It makes it seem like having unprotected sex is no big deal and it’s something that heaps of guys just do.
What I find most disturbing is that the younger generation who were too young too take notice of the safe sex message that was heavily promoted in the early nineties, and who get no gay sex education in the schools, turn to the internet to learn more about their sexuallity. After seeing hundreds of videos of guys barebacking, they start to think that it is common practice and partake in behaviour that is actually putting their life at risk.
I, along with some of the readers of ty-curious.com who have written in, have noticed that there are a lot of young guys lately on things like grindr n manhunt who will straight out ask you to breed them. I read somewhere that the rate of infection of HIV in guys under 25 is the highest it has been in decades. One doctor speculated that it was due to a blaz’e attitude towards barebacking.
I watched a video a few weeks ago that started off with a warning saying something like “Both of these actors have been tested and know each others serostatus (HIV status) They only do scenes with each other. While our videos are bareback, we do not condone or promote risky sexual behaviour”. What do you think? Should bareback porn come with a health warning?
A couple of months back I was cruising through grindr when this guy messaged me and said “Are you Ty Curious?” It made me feel all famous and stuff, I liked it. So we started talking. As I got to know him more and more I found more and more things I didnt like about him and eventually I started to back off from the friendship that was forming. It just wasn’t going to happen, we were very different people. He continued to text and eventually I let him know where I stood. This didnt stop him from continuing to text and message me on grindr all of which I ignored. Then yesterday I receive this text full of abuse and character assasinations. It was so frustrating and annoying so I did what anybody does these days when they need to vent…… I blurted it all over Facebook.
I chucked up this status saying “Fuck! Why are gay people so crazy! Seriously starting to consider conversion therapy!”. It was one of those statuses that sparks a conversation between a bunch of people and everyone was putting their view point in. The general consensus was that being gay sucks and it is much harder. That was until one friend piped up and said “All those things you are complaining about happen to straight people too, you guys are doing what gay people cry to not happen which is stereotype”. Then another friend piped in with a whole bunch of statistics about gay people, all of which where true. I was so torn. They where both right! It got me thinking though, “Where does it stop being stating the difference between gay and straight and start being stereotyping?” Its such a fine line, What do you think?
On the weekend I went to my friend S’s house. We had a barbeque and were sitting around eating and drinking. S’s mum, who I have met a few times before was there. She’s a real no bullshit, straight down the line type of lady. I admire that about her. Anyway I was sitting there telling N my usual dialogue about how I hadn’t had sex in almost a year and and how hard it was to find a man. S’s mum cut in and said “You know what you need to do Ty…… Not care. You will alway’s find love when you arent looking for it”. I went to say “Oh I don’t care, Im not actually looking” but before I could she continued “And dont be one of these tossers who runs around going “I’m not looking, I’m not looking” because everyone can see through that shit. It will only happen when you are genuinely happy and genuinely aren’t looking”.
She had completely called me on my bullshit and she was absolutely right. At the start of the year I made a resolution to “rock the shit out of being single” but I wasnt accomplishing this at all. My attitude had changed and I was no longer moping about my singledom. Now I was constantly cracking jokes about it, about how I was going to die alone or how I was dead inside or how I was going to become a cat lady. Either way, moping about it or joking about it, I was still focusing on it!
I think most people can tell the difference between someone who is genuinely happy and someone who is pretending to be happy. I also think people who are genuinely happy are 10 times hotter….. I want to be 10 times hotter! So as of now I have a new focus. Instead of changing my relationship status to married, I want to change my life status to happy. I have a feeling the second one is far more important anyway.