Hey Guys, If your a regular reader of Ty-Curious.com you may have noticed I havent posted much lately. My life has been kind of hectic lately. There has been a lot going on and a lot of changes in my life and I just kind of ended up feeling very lost. To be honest, I wasnt sure if the blog was something that I wanted to continue with. As it got more and more popular it took up more and more of my time and energy.
The problem was that I was treating “Ty Curious” as a character, as a role that I had to play and it was exhausting. I wasnt just coming on here and saying the things I wanted to say. I was saying the things I thought people wanted to hear, or things that would make me look or sound more popular. I was only posting very flattering photos of myself, only showing a very filtered version of me, one that I thought people would like. I guess the thing is that I have never fit in well with other gay guys and I thought if I was just being “me” that guys wouldn’t like that, I thought I had to be someone else, I thought I had to be “Ty Curious” for people to like me and want to read my stuff.
So after a bit of time off and looking back through old posts I noticed that the most popular blogs were the one’s where I had just been myself and said what I honestly thought. Then when I asked you guys what you would like to see more of on my blog the overwhelming response was “more of me and my personal journey”. So I have re-learned one of the most important lessons in life – Be Yourself!
“You can be the ripest, juciest peach in the world, and theres always going to be someone who hates peaches”
For too long I’ve been a peach trying to be the shiniest apple. From now on I’m going to try and give you guys nothing but peaches. To start things off here is my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/ty.curious1 You can add me as a friend and get the low down on what I get up to in my every day life. Here’s to a fresh start….. I hope you guys enjoy!
If you are a regular reader of ty-curious.com you will know that I dont have the best luck in the dating department. Its left me starting to wonder…. Am I earning Bad Dating Karma?
Now I’m going to get all hippie on your ass today but imagine the world is made of Karma or Energy or Vibes or whatever you feel most comfortable calling it. Im putting out a lot of bad vibes on a daily basis, its only natural that they come back to bite me!
An average day on Grindr or any other dating site for me goes as follows. I jump on and get a few messages, most of which I ignore. Im already putting out bad vibes because even though I am not doing anything, the guys who I ignore feel bad and therefore I have created someone to feel bad or in other words, have created some bad energy. I justify that its okay for me to do this because there is just not enough hours in the day to sit down and explain to every single person who messages me why I am not interested, and I would also feel that even with an explaination they are going to feel hurt anyway. So I feel like just by being on grindr I am already creating bad karma for myself.
It gets worse though. There are the guys who ask me for sex, say something completely inappropriate or even worse, send me some disgusting picture. If they catch me at the wrong time I will give them a spray or at least be a little rude to them and before I know it I have used more of my energy being negative and sent out more bad vibes.
Then there are the guys I actually talk to or meet. 9 times out of 10 it doesnt go anywhere and at some point I feel as though I need to start distancing from them or let them know that its not going to happen. Either way, they generally get upset and I feel like im chucking a few more dollars in the karmic piggy bank.
I, like many gay men feel that being on these sorts of sites is the only way I’m ever going to find someone. Or it at least keeps me connected with the gay community while living in a world full of straight people. It does have its good points but Im starting to think, Is being on these things doing more harm than good? Is it forcing me into situations that are bringing out the worst in me? Is it a help or a hinderance?
What do you think? Are grindr and other dating sites just toxic? Or is there a way I can still participate without clocking up a massive karmic dating debt?
So they say the first step to overcoming a problem is admitting you have one. Here’s my big secret, watch me “come out” about it in the video below.