Once upon a time there was a little gay boy who wrote all his thoughts on the Internet. He assumed that they would end up like 99% of the Internet and they would just drift off into cyberspace where nobody would ever read them ever again.
Today, on a random Thursday while sitting at my desk thinking of ways to while away my lunch break, I thought to myself “I should check out that old blog I used to write”. To my absolute shock, it had not drifted off into cyberspace. It had been read. A lot. By thousands and thousands of people. 2 years later, people were reading things about my life that I barely even remembered.
At first I panicked! What had I written? What had I put out there for people to read. Who were these people reading about my life? What did they know about me? While I was quite happy to share every aspect of my life with the world back then, that mind set did not reflect the person I am now. I had grown and changed and was so different from the person who wrote those posts.
After reading through a few of the posts cringing so hard that I wished the earth would just open up and swallow me whole, I got around to reading comments and emails from people who had read my posts. It was overwhelming the amount of people that said my experiences had resonated with them and even helped them. It was also kind of amazing to step back in time and see exactly where my head was at 2 years earlier.
I had never imagined that I would return to this blog but sometimes the best experiences in life are the ones you never imagined…
Hey Guys, If your a regular reader of Ty-Curious.com you may have noticed I havent posted much lately. My life has been kind of hectic lately. There has been a lot going on and a lot of changes in my life and I just kind of ended up feeling very lost. To be honest, I wasnt sure if the blog was something that I wanted to continue with. As it got more and more popular it took up more and more of my time and energy.
The problem was that I was treating “Ty Curious” as a character, as a role that I had to play and it was exhausting. I wasnt just coming on here and saying the things I wanted to say. I was saying the things I thought people wanted to hear, or things that would make me look or sound more popular. I was only posting very flattering photos of myself, only showing a very filtered version of me, one that I thought people would like. I guess the thing is that I have never fit in well with other gay guys and I thought if I was just being “me” that guys wouldn’t like that, I thought I had to be someone else, I thought I had to be “Ty Curious” for people to like me and want to read my stuff.
So after a bit of time off and looking back through old posts I noticed that the most popular blogs were the one’s where I had just been myself and said what I honestly thought. Then when I asked you guys what you would like to see more of on my blog the overwhelming response was “more of me and my personal journey”. So I have re-learned one of the most important lessons in life – Be Yourself!
“You can be the ripest, juciest peach in the world, and theres always going to be someone who hates peaches”
For too long I’ve been a peach trying to be the shiniest apple. From now on I’m going to try and give you guys nothing but peaches. To start things off here is my facebook page http://www.facebook.com/ty.curious1 You can add me as a friend and get the low down on what I get up to in my every day life. Here’s to a fresh start….. I hope you guys enjoy!
This is what makes me happy this Easter.
The past week and the next couple of weeks, have been and are going to be pretty hectic for me. It’s a time where everything is coming to fruition. At the end of 2010 I woke up, very unhappy with every aspect of my life. I hated my job, my relationship, my living arrangements, my body, my financial situation and everything else about my life. I was becoming a bitter twisted person and even worse, life was breaking me. Things became so bad that I would get home from work, lock myself in the shower and cry while the water ran to disguise my moans of misery. I would quickly wash the tears off my face and return to the life that I hated with a blank face to hide all the anger, hurt and disappointment I felt inside.
I needed a plan, I needed an out, I needed a fix, I needed anything. I leaped into action. I leased out my house, moved back home, signed up for night school and started heading in a whole new direction. By the middle of the year I had a new career with a great company and an incredible future. A few months later I moved in with a friend of mine and no longer had to live at home. Now the time has come where the lease is up, it’s time for my tenant to leave and for me to move back into my own home. It’s been a crazy year and the final pieces of the plan are coming together. It’s amazing to think that in a little over a year I have turned all those things around. I’m not saying that my life is now perfect or anything but I can at least say now that I am happy most of the time which is a lot more than I could say a year ago.
Looking back at how much I accomplished in this past year makes me wonder how much I can accomplish in the upcoming year. Last year there was a major focus on career, making as many changes as possible and finding myself. This year some of the things I would like to focus on are fitness, finances, finding happiness in the simple things, spending more time with people who make me smile and less time with people who don’t. Is there anything I have missed? What are some of your goals this year?