One Gay At A Ty

When I started blogging I also started reading a lot of blogs. One of my favourite blogs is the highly addictive One Gay At A Time. He has become part of my daily ritual. I get up, make breakfast then read his blog. It’s always entertaining, honest and a good read. I have even had the luck to collaborate with him on something that I like to call One Gay At A Ty, so when we reached out to each other yesterday to discuss my most recent blog post “Too Gay” and discovered we had conflicting opinions on the matter, I was more than happy to hook up another collaboration. Please make welcome my friend One Gay At A Time with his response to yesterdays blog post…

Bud. I’m really going to have to disagree with yesterday’s post.
In my humble opinion, no one is truly gay. On the contrary, no one is completely straight or bi either. There’s a spectrum, much like the Kinsey scale. That being said, society has a stereotype of what they think is gay. Are stereotypes right? Probably not. Are they accurate over a wide spectrum? Probably. Stereotypes are standardized and simplified conceptions of people based on some prior assumptions or biases — a tendency. Most of these are good, but sometimes stereotyping can turn into discrimination if we misinterpret a bias and act upon it in a negative manner.
When I came out to my friends, some of them pre-apologized for continuing to use the phrase, “That’s gay.” I knew they’d make every effort to curb the phrase, but I also understand it’s part of today’s lexicon. I’m not making excuses for it, but even I’ve been guilty of using the phrase. I myself cringe when I hear someone say, “That’s gay,” but I also don’t take it as an attack on my sexuality. I examine their underlying intentions. It’s simply a regurgitation of something they picked up in elementary school. Now, if any of my friends called someone a faggot or referred to a feminine man as a fag, we’d have some serious issues. Fag is a derogatory term filled with hatred and bigotry. Gay is not.
Gay also has degrees. I have been told on occasion I am “the right amount of gay.” People have a tolerance level. To some, a flamboyant gay man is obnoxious. I don’t attribute that to his sexuality, and I really don’t think they do either. They attribute their feelings to the level of outward exhibition. I would have the same feeling about a loud brash straight woman who makes a big kill and fuss in public. So, is there such a things as too gay? Yes.
I know I’m going to get flack for this, but when a gay man says another man is too gay, he’s simply stating his rules of attraction. I myself find I am only attracted to masculine men. I often question why many gay men strongly exhibit their feminine side. Do they feel the need to exhibit feminine qualities because they are attracted to a man? That being said, I understand they are comfortable with themselves and living their life they way they want. I have no issue with this. I fully respect it. I admire it. I, however, am just not attracted to it. We can’t control whom we love. So when a homosexual man says, “He’s too gay,” really he’s just saying he’s too feminine. Society gave the term meaning. We can work to change the perceptions of the word, but we cannot simply remove them in one fell swoop.

What do you think? Do you agree with one of us or do you have a different opinion of your own. Let us know in the comments


Hillarys Speech

Hi Guys, First of all I have to say sorry for missing a blog. It was my birthday last week and I got caught up in all the festivities and couldnt find time to blog. I was going to do the follow up blog to Face Off 2, but once again something far more important has come up so I’ll get to that in the next blog.

If you haven’t already heard it, make sure you check out Hillary Clintons speech on LGBT rights are human rights. This speech blew me away. Absolutely amazing and I finally feel like someone said exactly what needed to be said.

One of the points she brought up was that the world is worse off for not treating gay people equally. At first I was a bit taken a back. I know that we are worse off for not getting treated the same but how is the world worse off for not treating us the same? She followed it up with “all the LGBT people out there with brilliant ideas or amazing contributions that aren’t contributing because they feel supressed”. Imagine all the amazing things that women have done that wouldn’t be done if they were never given rights? Imagine all the things that black people have done that would have never happened if they were never given rights. This got me thinking. I am a giant Oprah fan, and even if your not a fan of her you have to admit that she has made a massive contribution to the world. Now imagine that either women or black people were never given rights and therefore the oprah show never existed so therefore the thousands of good deeds she has done never came to fruition. The world indeed would be worse off for not having made that decision. The world is worse off for not making the same decision now with gay people. Its Time. Watch the video, share with your friends. Let me know what you think of the speech in the comments below.