I went on grindr again last night despite my attempts to avoid it. I changed my little bio on there to read “I have plenty of friends and dont do hook ups so Im on here looking for 1 thing only” A guy messaged me and the conversation went as follows. (Im in bold)
Ur here for a boyfriend????
Yeah, Crazy right?
Its good to beleive in miracles
Why do you want one?
It would be nice to have someone to share my life with
Cant you share with your friends?
Yes, and I do, but its not the same. Besides I dont want to be like 30 and fucking random guys off the internet. There’s nothing wrong with that if thats your lifestyle choice but I know it is definately not for me.
Good Luck with that 🙂
It made me so angry!!! I was absolutely fuming. I know that not all gay guys want to settle down and get married, I know that in fact a lot of them don’t want that and I am happy to accept that but it really grinds my gears when they can’t accept the fact that I do want that. It’s like theres this divide between gays that want boyfriends and gays that want casual sex. Neither side can accept that what the other side wants is what they actually want. Many a time I have seen a settle down gay try to trap a casual sex gay into a relationship and many a time I have seen a casual sex gay trick a settle down gay into bed with the false promiss of a relationship. We are all different and all want different things from life and that is ok, but how are we ever meant to expect acceptance and respect from the wider community when we don’t even accept and respect each other for our own differences?
I was on grindr today and got a message from this guy. He was 48 but fairly decent looking for his age. The conversation went as follows
Hi mate! Nice pic, How are you?
Thanks. I’m good, how are you?
Yeah good mate, U Horny?
Haha that’s not the normal answer.
I stopped talking after that, usually I stop talking at “u horny?” but today I was in a bit of a bad mood. Here’s my whole problem with that conversation. Saying that my answer wasn’t the normal answer. It just gives this impression that most people say yes and I am sure that isn’t the case. I’m so sick and tired of people thinking that being gay means being horny all the time and being willing to hook up with anyone at the drop of a hat. So Mr Rude Grindr Man, here’s my list of things that are not normal.
It’s not normal to ask strangers if they are horny or not!
It’s not normal to start sexual conversations with people 22 years younger than you!
It’s not normal to be still going round hooking up with people at 48 years old!
It’s not normal to be a jerk!
I have been getting a lot of feedback about my blog – Face Off. So for all of you have been asking, Here is what happened.
So against my better judgement and swayed by a few comments on my last post, I decided to meet up with Travolta. We both have very busy schedules so it was hard to find a time. I thought since we worked down the road from each other it would be easy. How wrong I was. The first week he couldn’t do Monday or Wednesday, and I couldn’t do Tuesday or Friday. So I was pretty sure it was all on for Thursday. On Wednesday he never came online so Thursday morning I shot him a quick message saying “Hey, we still on for today?” and got no reply. Then the next day he started chatting again as if nothing had happened. I let a few days pass and didn’t bring it up. The next week rolled around and he messaged me and I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to pin him down for a time. I wasnt going to let him get out of it this easy. He tried to skate around the topic and throw a few vague dates or times that he might be able to meet up but I wanted something more concrete. The harder I pushed the more I realised he was never going to meet up and this was all just some sort of game to him. My temper got the better of me. I am a pretty impatient person and I had been waiting months to see this guys face, it was getting beyond a joke! I sent a few abusive messages about him wasting my time and logged out. I took some time to think and logged back on. A lengthy discussion followed but at the end of the day I realised I was wasting time and energy that I could be spending on someone who was genuinely interested and had far less issues (and who’s face I could actually see). So that became the deal breaker.
I’m a big believer that if you want something bigger or better in your life you have to make room for it. You can’t pick up diamonds while your hands are full of dog shit. So I decided to let go of something that wasn’t working for me to make room for something that will. The funny thing is as soon as I did, a lot more opportunities started coming my way, But that’s another blog for another day.