Recently I was called out by “Ohshititsmar” on one of my posts. I bang on about wanting equality etc but when it comes down to it I still make my own divides in my own life between my “Gay World” and my “Straight World”. Its something that I really need to reassess. So when I found this video by Davey Wavey about calling out gay people I thought it was more than appropriate to share today.
When I started blogging I also started reading a lot of blogs. One of my favourite blogs is the highly addictive One Gay At A Time. He has become part of my daily ritual. I get up, make breakfast then read his blog. It’s always entertaining, honest and a good read. I have even had the luck to collaborate with him on something that I like to call One Gay At A Ty, so when we reached out to each other yesterday to discuss my most recent blog post “Too Gay” and discovered we had conflicting opinions on the matter, I was more than happy to hook up another collaboration. Please make welcome my friend One Gay At A Time with his response to yesterdays blog post…
Bud. I’m really going to have to disagree with yesterday’s post.
In my humble opinion, no one is truly gay. On the contrary, no one is completely straight or bi either. There’s a spectrum, much like the Kinsey scale. That being said, society has a stereotype of what they think is gay. Are stereotypes right? Probably not. Are they accurate over a wide spectrum? Probably. Stereotypes are standardized and simplified conceptions of people based on some prior assumptions or biases — a tendency. Most of these are good, but sometimes stereotyping can turn into discrimination if we misinterpret a bias and act upon it in a negative manner.
When I came out to my friends, some of them pre-apologized for continuing to use the phrase, “That’s gay.” I knew they’d make every effort to curb the phrase, but I also understand it’s part of today’s lexicon. I’m not making excuses for it, but even I’ve been guilty of using the phrase. I myself cringe when I hear someone say, “That’s gay,” but I also don’t take it as an attack on my sexuality. I examine their underlying intentions. It’s simply a regurgitation of something they picked up in elementary school. Now, if any of my friends called someone a faggot or referred to a feminine man as a fag, we’d have some serious issues. Fag is a derogatory term filled with hatred and bigotry. Gay is not.
Gay also has degrees. I have been told on occasion I am “the right amount of gay.” People have a tolerance level. To some, a flamboyant gay man is obnoxious. I don’t attribute that to his sexuality, and I really don’t think they do either. They attribute their feelings to the level of outward exhibition. I would have the same feeling about a loud brash straight woman who makes a big kill and fuss in public. So, is there such a things as too gay? Yes.
I know I’m going to get flack for this, but when a gay man says another man is too gay, he’s simply stating his rules of attraction. I myself find I am only attracted to masculine men. I often question why many gay men strongly exhibit their feminine side. Do they feel the need to exhibit feminine qualities because they are attracted to a man? That being said, I understand they are comfortable with themselves and living their life they way they want. I have no issue with this. I fully respect it. I admire it. I, however, am just not attracted to it. We can’t control whom we love. So when a homosexual man says, “He’s too gay,” really he’s just saying he’s too feminine. Society gave the term meaning. We can work to change the perceptions of the word, but we cannot simply remove them in one fell swoop.
What do you think? Do you agree with one of us or do you have a different opinion of your own. Let us know in the comments
I’m a pretty ordinary looking guy and I know people mean the best when they say this to me but it absolutely infuriates me when straight people tell me “Your alright because your not that gay, I just hate those gay guys that are like all in your face about it”. Oh well, I guess your ok then, it’s not really homophobia if you only hate some gay people!
But hey, being a gay man you kinda get used to straight people not really getting it sometimes. What abso-fucking-lutely makes me want to loose my shit is when gay people pull the exact same shit!
All this no femmes, no queens, straight acting only bullshit pisses me off more than anything! If you had any idea how much courage these guys have, to look and dress however they feel most comfortable and not let all of the narrow minded bigots out there get them down, you would commend them. You want to talk about being a real man? That’s being a real man, having the strength to be yourself regardless of what anyone thinks.
I’m so sick of people beating down femmes or guys that are too gay. I have nothing but respect for this type of guy, I actually wish that I had the courage to be more like them.
So always remember, there’s no such thing as too gay, but there is such thing as too bigoted!
If your guilty of spreading hate against the really gay guys share this post and earn some good gay karma!