aussieBum Competition

Everyone knows I’m a big Oprah fan and everyone knows the best episodes of Oprah are the favourite things episodes where she gives away all of her favourite things. Well today I wanted to give away some of my favourite things…. aussieBums!!

aussieBum are my all time favourite underwear and I have been wearing them for years. In fact Im wearing a pair of Wonder Jocks right now! Nothing comes close to the style and comfort that aussieBum provides.

So today the guys from aussieBum and I want to share the love and give away 3 awesome aussieBum prize packs valued at $80 each to readers of Ty-Curious.com . How do you get yourself in on this action? Like my Facebook page, follow me on Twitter or enter your email address in the box on the right for email updates. 3 easy ways to win! Already done all 3? Then you already have 3 entries in the draw. Watch Facebook and twitter for ways to earn bonus entries! Competition runs from Monday the 11th of June til Sunday the 17th of June so get your entries in now.

Cant wait to get your hands on some aussieBum? Check out their latest range at www.aussiebum.com or check them out on Facebook and Twitter

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The Cowboy’s Trick

Regular readers of ty-curious.com you would have heard me mention the cowboy on a few occaisions. He was my last serious relationship. Things busted up between us about 14 months ago on fairly amicable terms but we both deleted each other from facebook.

When I first met the cowboy he laid down the law that if we wanted to be together there would be no going to go gay clubs or gay pubs and no hanging out in gay places or with gay people. At the time I had had my fill of the scene as was growing more and more tired of it. I also looked back at other relationships and realised how much other gay dudes had meddled in my relationships and made things far harder than they had to be, so I agreed to these terms. As time went on there was also a facebook clause added to the rules. I was asked to delete all gay people from my facebook, regardless of wheather they were friends or not. Eventually I reluctantly agreed.

Although I didnt want to completely cut myself off from all other gay people, I could see his point. If my past was anything to go by, being a gay couple and mingling with other gay guys was a constant source of jealousy and fighting which most of the time was spawned over nothing at all. He encouraged me to leave the gay world behind me and rejoin the real world. I appreciated it massively. It was one of the healthiest relationships I have ever had, no dramas, no complications just simple and easy. I learnt a lot from it and because of that I earned giant respect for the cowboy.

The problem was that when we broke up I was left alone, completely cut off from the gay world. I had deleted all my gay friends from facebook, I was unsure if I even had their phone numbers still. I could try re-adding them but would they want to accept after I deleted them for no reason? Would they want to talk to me after I cut them off for 6 months. I couldnt go out and meet new gay people because I had no one to go with. I was stuck and isolated. I have struggled to make new gay friends or reconnect old gay friendships and still feel very isolated. Luckily though, I have some pretty amazing straight people in my life that keep me going.

So last night I was cruising through facebook and the cowboys name popped up on a friend of a friends status. I couldnt help myself, I had to have a bit of a stalk. I was absolutely shocked. He had so many gay friends and all his statuses were about going out to the gay pub every weekend. I was stunned. I know people grow and change, and it had been over a year but, he had turned into the complete opposite person of the guy I used to know. I became enraged. He forced me out of that world and spent hours convincing me how bad it was for me and how I shouldnt be a part of it. It now seems that the second we broke up he just jumped straight back onto the gay scene and became a “Scene Queen”.

Im now left wondering, was I tricked? All the reasons I beleived to stay away where put into my head by him, the guy who is now there every weekend. I dont know what to beleive now. What do you think? Is it better to keep the company of straight people, Do you like to only surround yourself with other gays or Do you like a mix of both?

Stereotype

A couple of months back I was cruising through grindr when this guy messaged me and said “Are you Ty Curious?” It made me feel all famous and stuff, I liked it. So we started talking. As I got to know him more and more I found more and more things I didnt like about him and eventually I started to back off from the friendship that was forming. It just wasn’t going to happen, we were very different people. He continued to text and eventually I let him know where I stood. This didnt stop him from continuing to text and message me on grindr all of which I ignored. Then yesterday I receive this text full of abuse and character assasinations. It was so frustrating and annoying so I did what anybody does these days when they need to vent…… I blurted it all over Facebook.

I chucked up this status saying “Fuck! Why are gay people so crazy! Seriously starting to consider conversion therapy!”. It was one of those statuses that sparks a conversation between a bunch of people and everyone was putting their view point in. The general consensus was that being gay sucks and it is much harder. That was until one friend piped up and said “All those things you are complaining about happen to straight people too, you guys are doing what gay people cry to not happen which is stereotype”. Then another friend piped in with a whole bunch of statistics about gay people, all of which where true. I was so torn. They where both right! It got me thinking though, “Where does it stop being stating the difference between gay and straight and start being stereotyping?” Its such a fine line, What do you think?

Super Size Me

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I have moved back into my own house. Although I’m not sure if I mentioned that I now have a gay neighbour. He is an awesome dude and we have even hung out a couple of times. Its nice to have a gay friend so close by. About a week ago he had some friends over and he invited me over to meet them all. My neighbour and his friends are all at least 5 years younger than me so I felt a little old. One of them turned to me and said “Our friend P would be perfect for you, hes your age”. Despite the blow to my ego by feeling incredibly old, I was kinda interested. Who am I kidding? Its been a year since I last had sex, I was super interested!

They told me P’s full name and told me to add him on facebook. I told them that I don’t just add random people to my facebook so they added me and then told him to add me. He did quite quickly and we started to chat. Immediately I checked his profile pic and I couldnt help but notice he was a slightly larger. I’m quite big too so I didnt want to judge but I shot a message to my neighbours friend “Hey, this guy your trying to set me up with, is he quite big?” I got a reply straight back “No, you guys are like the same build”. I was relieved.

I kept chatting to P and decided to stalk his photos. I couldnt beleive what I saw. He was huge. Not even a Mc Large, this guy was Super Size! I sat there in shock and all that kept going through my head was “No, you guys are like the same build”. I was so insulted. This guy was at least 30 kgs heavier than me. I couldnt beleive that somebody had met me and thought that I was also that size. What had I done? How far had I let myself go if I was now comparable to this? Was I actually that size and just living in denial. The onslaught of horrible depressing thoughts would not stop. I kept talking to P but started to make it clear that I wasnt interested in that way. Maybe this is the wake up call I needed? Maybe I am living in denial. Whatever the case I know it is time to face this, I cant hide from it any longer.

 

Some Good Advice

On the weekend I went to my friend S’s house. We had a barbeque and were sitting around eating and drinking. S’s mum, who I have met a few times before was there. She’s a real no bullshit, straight down the line type of lady. I admire that about her. Anyway I was sitting there telling N my usual dialogue about how I hadn’t had sex in almost a year and and how hard it was to find a man. S’s mum cut in and said “You know what you need to do Ty…… Not care. You will alway’s find love when you arent looking for it”. I went to say “Oh I don’t care, Im not actually looking” but before I could she continued “And dont be one of these tossers who runs around going “I’m not looking, I’m not looking” because everyone can see through that shit. It will only happen when you are genuinely happy and genuinely aren’t looking”.

She had completely called me on my bullshit and she was absolutely right. At the start of the year I made a resolution to “rock the shit out of being single” but I wasnt accomplishing this at all. My attitude had changed and I was no longer moping about my singledom. Now I was constantly cracking jokes about it, about how I was going to die alone or how I was dead inside or how I was going to become a cat lady. Either way, moping about it or joking about it, I was still focusing on it!

I think most people can tell the difference between someone who is genuinely happy and someone who is pretending to be happy. I also think people who are genuinely happy are 10 times hotter….. I want to be 10 times hotter! So as of now I have a new focus. Instead of changing my relationship status to married, I want to change my life status to happy. I have a feeling the second one is far more important anyway.

The Worst First Date

So after my failed date with Pluck I was more determined then ever to find me a husband. Somehow in my mind it had twisted from a simple search for someone to date into a soul consuming search for a husband. I guess it was a combination of one of my best friends getting engaged and me turning 27. In my mind I had always imagined I’d be married by 27, or at least engaged, or at least in a relationship, or at least have a glimmer of hope that I wasn’t going to die alone surrounded by 16 cats. So I became hell bent on my mission to find someone.

I jumped back on grindr the day after my birthday celebrations. Straight away I got a message from a new guy, Tradie. He was cute, smart, funny and nice. We liked all the same things and since I was a tradie for 8 years before my current role we had a lot in common. We started talking every day, all day. Txts from when I woke up in the morning til I went to sleep at night. I had never met a guy that I could talk to that much without getting bored. For the first time in a long time I really started to open up to someone. Things were looking brighter and maybe I wasn’t going to have to take that trip to the pet store to buy my first of many cats.

We were both sickeningly keen on each other and decided we would meet that weekend for drinks. The next day he informed me that his cousins girlfriend had a party on that night and that he wanted to bring me rather than cancel our date. I agreed but said we should meet beforehand just to make sure we liked each other and so it would be less awkward.

We decided to meet at 6 at a pub just outside the city. The same pub where the party would be later that night. As I was getting ready and going through my first date rituals I started to feel violently sick, like something was really wrong but I assured myself it was just the nerves because I hadn’t liked someone this much in a very long time. But I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen.

On my way into the city I got a txt saying that he had been in a car accident and he was going to be late. I told him we could reschedule but he told me to just go to the pub and he would be there as soon as he could. I went and grabbed a beer and waited. He arrived shortly after. He was very cute and very fit. I was kind of shocked because I had said how unfit I was and he said he was unfit too. This wasn’t the case at all and I became very self conscious. A few beers fixed that though. We started talking and things didn’t really flow as well as when we texted. It was quite strained and he also brought up his ex a bit which is a massive red flag for me.

It came time to go to the party and I told him that it was fine for him to go to the party without me and that I didn’t want to impose. He reassured me it wouldn’t be that bad and that only a couple of his friends would be there. I figured I shouldn’t bail so early anyway.

We met the birthday girl and were told there was a bar tab and to go make use of it. We had already had far too many beers but went to the bar for more. While waiting to be served, his friends arrived. As they approached my heart sank. One of his friends was a midget drag queen that used to work in a nightclub that I worked in years ago when I was 21. A lot of crazy crazy things happened in that night club. Most of which, I’m not exactly proud of. I knew there were so many stories that the midget could tell Tradie, I was horrified! At our first chance I took him away and quickly explained the situation. He was sweet about it and kept asking if I was alright. I wasn’t but I tried to put on a brave face. I ducked off to the toilets and when I returned Tradie informed me that the midget had told him that we used to date! I was furious. I remembered that the midget had also spread that rumour back when we used to work together and that was why I hated him!

I tried to play it cool but I was full of beer and getting angrier by the second. I jumped straight onto Facebook and twitter and sent out an SOS! I got a few replies but a girl I went to school with was actually down stairs in the pub so I went down and met her. I had a drink with her but the entire time I couldn’t stop thinking about the awkward situation upstairs. After a drink I decided to head back up stairs and talk to Tradie. I don’t know if I had given the fat midget drag queen time to tell more stories or if Tradie was pissed that I had left for a bit or if something else happened but I got back to an icy reception. I didn’t know what was going on but it was pissing me off. I took Tradie outside and asked what was up? He told me that it was just all the stuff that midget had said and that he wanted to go home and sober up and think about it all.

I saw red! I told him if he had to think about that lying sack of shits lies then not to bother and stormed out of the pub. I was so furious! As I walked back to the train station I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier. I fired off a few abusive texts but it didn’t help at all. I was tired of living in this small town with a gay community so small that your past always catches up with you, and to make things worse I was being crucified for something I had never even done!

I woke up the next morning full of regret and confusion. How did things turn so bad so fast? Why would I be so childish as to send abusive texts. Why do I keep putting myself through this bullshit? Do I even want a boyfriend if this is the kind of shit I have to go through? I had a lot to think about.

My Brothers Reaction

So my brother is your normal 21 year old Aussie straight dude. He’s a tanned tradie with muscles everywhere. He used to be a fighter but now hes a surf lifesaver. Hes an all round good bloke who likes nothing more than sitting around with his mates drinking on the weekend. Being younger I dont expect him to be so grown up but the other day he shocked me.

I made him watch the video “It’s Time” from my last blog. He watched intently and then at the end turned to me and said “That’s Awesome Man”. I was chuffed but didn’t expect what happened next. He turned back to the screen and said “How do I put this on my Facebook?”. I was speechless, I expected him to like it but not that much! I got my breath back and quickly told him how. As he loaded it on I asked “Don’t you care what your friends will think?”, He turned to me and said “Nah man, I’m hell passionate about this. I’m even not gonna get married until you can get married too”

I almost burst into tears and fell on the floor in a crying mess right then and there. It was probably one of the nicest things any one has ever said to me. In that moment I realized my little boy brother was now a man, a good man. I’m so proud of him. I can only hope other people his age feel the same. Maybe change is near, maybe “it’s time”.