I’m famous on the Internet and didn’t even know it

Once upon a time there was a little gay boy who wrote all his thoughts on the Internet. He assumed that they would end up like 99% of the Internet and they would just drift off into cyberspace where nobody would ever read them ever again.

Today, on a random Thursday while sitting at my desk thinking of ways to while away my lunch break, I thought to myself “I should check out that old blog I used to write”. To my absolute shock, it had not drifted off into cyberspace. It had been read. A lot. By thousands and thousands of people. 2 years later, people were reading things about my life that I barely even remembered.

At first I panicked! What had I written? What had I put out there for people to read. Who were these people reading about my life? What did they know about me? While I was quite happy to share every aspect of my life with the world back then, that mind set did not reflect the person I am now. I had grown and changed and was so different from the person who wrote those posts.

After reading through a few of the posts cringing so hard that I wished the earth would just open up and swallow me whole, I got around to reading comments and emails from people who had read my posts. It was overwhelming the amount of people that said my experiences had resonated with them and even helped them. It was also kind of amazing to step back in time and see exactly where my head was at 2 years earlier.

I had never imagined that I would return to this blog but sometimes the best experiences in life are the ones you never imagined…

20,000

Todays post is in celebration of the fact that www.ty-curious.com has been viewed over 20,000 times. Considering I have been writing for less than a year I find this number absolutely mind blowing. So today I want to say thank you to the people that read what I write. Thank you for taking the time and thank you for all the comments and emails.

If you are a regular reader of ty-curious.com you would have noticed that I havent posted much lately. Partly because my personal life has been hectic lately and partly because I’m not sure where to go from here. When I started writing I had a lot of stuff in my head that was built up over the past 20 years that I wanted to get out. Now, I have written about a lot of that stuff. So my question for you guys today is what would you like to see more of on ty-curious.com

If there is anything else you would like more of please let me know in the comments below.

I’ll wont be on much for the next week or so but I will be watching all your feedback and coming back with a bigger and bettter Ty Curious.

Why I do this?

When I first started blogging I thought “What the hell am I doing this for?” Its taking up all my time, It’s actually consuming me and I get no reward or pay for doing it. The funny thing is that there have been many times where I have sat down and said “I need to give up this Ty Curious dream. Its silly and nothing will ever become of it”. The strange thing is that every time I’m about to give up, I will get an email from someone or a comment saying how what I wrote truly helped them and how much they love what I do and instantly im re-inspired to keep going.

Now you may think I’m strange but one day I was just about to give up on this whole thing, leave the site to go dormant and focus my efforts elsewhere. My exact thoughts were “I’m just going to give up and be an every day normal person who does every day normal things, who doesnt air all their shit over the internet!”. What happened next was super strange. I was on google and this flashed up on the screen.

It inspired me to keep going and thats why there are still blogs today. Im glad it happened because I absolutely love everyone who reads Ty Curious and am pretty damm proud of the little community we are creating. Thankyou for keeping me going!

One Gay At A Ty

When I started blogging I also started reading a lot of blogs. One of my favourite blogs is the highly addictive One Gay At A Time. He has become part of my daily ritual. I get up, make breakfast then read his blog. It’s always entertaining, honest and a good read. I have even had the luck to collaborate with him on something that I like to call One Gay At A Ty, so when we reached out to each other yesterday to discuss my most recent blog post “Too Gay” and discovered we had conflicting opinions on the matter, I was more than happy to hook up another collaboration. Please make welcome my friend One Gay At A Time with his response to yesterdays blog post…

Bud. I’m really going to have to disagree with yesterday’s post.
In my humble opinion, no one is truly gay. On the contrary, no one is completely straight or bi either. There’s a spectrum, much like the Kinsey scale. That being said, society has a stereotype of what they think is gay. Are stereotypes right? Probably not. Are they accurate over a wide spectrum? Probably. Stereotypes are standardized and simplified conceptions of people based on some prior assumptions or biases — a tendency. Most of these are good, but sometimes stereotyping can turn into discrimination if we misinterpret a bias and act upon it in a negative manner.
When I came out to my friends, some of them pre-apologized for continuing to use the phrase, “That’s gay.” I knew they’d make every effort to curb the phrase, but I also understand it’s part of today’s lexicon. I’m not making excuses for it, but even I’ve been guilty of using the phrase. I myself cringe when I hear someone say, “That’s gay,” but I also don’t take it as an attack on my sexuality. I examine their underlying intentions. It’s simply a regurgitation of something they picked up in elementary school. Now, if any of my friends called someone a faggot or referred to a feminine man as a fag, we’d have some serious issues. Fag is a derogatory term filled with hatred and bigotry. Gay is not.
Gay also has degrees. I have been told on occasion I am “the right amount of gay.” People have a tolerance level. To some, a flamboyant gay man is obnoxious. I don’t attribute that to his sexuality, and I really don’t think they do either. They attribute their feelings to the level of outward exhibition. I would have the same feeling about a loud brash straight woman who makes a big kill and fuss in public. So, is there such a things as too gay? Yes.
I know I’m going to get flack for this, but when a gay man says another man is too gay, he’s simply stating his rules of attraction. I myself find I am only attracted to masculine men. I often question why many gay men strongly exhibit their feminine side. Do they feel the need to exhibit feminine qualities because they are attracted to a man? That being said, I understand they are comfortable with themselves and living their life they way they want. I have no issue with this. I fully respect it. I admire it. I, however, am just not attracted to it. We can’t control whom we love. So when a homosexual man says, “He’s too gay,” really he’s just saying he’s too feminine. Society gave the term meaning. We can work to change the perceptions of the word, but we cannot simply remove them in one fell swoop.

What do you think? Do you agree with one of us or do you have a different opinion of your own. Let us know in the comments

To Be Honest

I wrote a blog today and it made me feel like shit. It was about my weight and about being set up wit a fat guy. I wasn’t really honest about how I feel about my weight and even worse, I was kind of mean about the other guy. I didn’t feel like I got anything off my chest, I didn’t feel like I wrote something other people could relate to. I just felt like I was being mean. In all honesty I think I was just deflecting my feelings about my own weight onto him.

For those of you that have been following my journey for a while now you will know that I started a series of videos on my YouTube channel called “coming out of the pantry” last year. It started off with me taking my shirt off on YouTube and then followed up a few weeks later with me talking about how I lost some weight. Then all of a sudden the videos stopped. Two things happened. 1, my computer crashed and I couldn’t make videos any more. 2, I gave up on the diet, gained all the weight back and pretended like the videos never even happened. To be honest, at times I have considered deleting them.

Then I started blogging strictly about gay issues and gay dating. For anyone who hasn’t been following my dating stories, my love life is less like a romantic comedy and more like a horror movie! Over the past few months I have had tragic date after tragic date, horror story after horror story. In recent blogs I have discovered that my pursuit of happiness is far more important than my pursuit of a relationship. I have also realized that pursuing a relationship is pointless unless I have found my own happiness first.

So today I realized that I had 2 choices. I can continue to avoid my problems, continue to make fun of weirdos I meet on grindr and make out like none of it is my fault. Or I can start a new path, one where I am more honest and upfront with all you guys, where I confront my issues instead of hiding from them and where I try to grow, learn and change in the pursuit of happiness.

I hope your all still interested in reading and if worst comes to worst I can always go back to tragic dating stories!

Breaking the rules

I have a lot of rules that I tend to live by. Some of them are silly like “Dont ever get drunk and eat a McDonalds spicy chicken burger” and some of them are more serious like “Wait at least 3 dates before sleeping with someone”. All my rules have been made based on bad experiences in the past and to prevent future pain.

One of my rules was “Don’t make friends with other gay guys”. I have quite a few reasons for this, so many in fact I decided to make a list.

1, No jealousy! If I do find a boyfriend at some point then I don’t have to deal with the jealousy or suspicions of my friendships with other gay men.

2, Its hotter! I read somewhere that one of the most attractive things was a gay guy with 0 friends in common on Facebook.

3, I can be me! I often find when I’m hanging out with gay dudes regularly I start changing the way I speak, the language I use and my mannerisms just to fit in.

4, Less dramatic! When I only run with straights I seem to have a lot less drama in my life.

5, I don’t fuck my friends! When I have a really good gay friend I find it hard to think of reasons not to take things further. By not hanging with other gay guys I avoid this situation completely.

So as you can see I have quite a few reasons why I don’t mingle with my own kind and so far my rule has worked for me.

A few days ago, I put up my latest blog and received an email from a blog buddy. It said “Hey bud, seems like you need a friend to talk to.” He was right. We chatted for a long time and afterwards I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. This guy gave me something that I had needed for a very long time. Understanding, and not the kind of understanding where someone can imagine how hard your situation might be but the kind of understanding where they know because they have been through the exact same stuff.

I have been missing out. I may have all my rules and reasons but I’m ready to break them because this guy taught me that a gay man’s gay friends are an important part of his life.

With the new year approaching, I’m left wondering what other rules should I change for 2012? Let me know your 2012 changes in the comments below!

Thankyou

So todays blog is a little different from my usual style. Usually I write about a topic, something that I have been thinking about or something specific that has been going on in my life. Today I am just going to do a general overall update of whats been going on in my life lately.
 
I’ll start off by apologising. In the past fortnight I have moved house and I’m settling into a new routine. On top of that I am currently “between computers” as my comnputer decided to get a virus and die. So at the moment I have been updating the blog from my iphone and havent been able to keep the blog as up to date as I would like to. So for those of you who noticed and emailed, I should be getting back to twice weekly blogs soon enough. Thanks for the emails and the support guys. Its been great!
 
Speaking of support, I have to say a massive Thankyou to all you guys for the emails, messages, comments, tweets that I have recieved supporting me on my weight loss journey. The support for my video has been incredible, more than I could have ever imagined, so if you took the time to message me Thankyou! I will be putting up a video in the next week or so about my progress and journey so keep an eye out for that one.
 
Another blog that I received a lot of feedback from was the “To Fuck or not To Fuck” blog. So many guys said that they felt exactly the same way. It was great to hear from so many of you that said you were looking for real relationships not short term fun. It helped me make my decision and also break the stereotype that “all of us are just looking for sex”. So for you guys who read it and agreed, please know that there are so many guys out there who feel exactly the same as you do.
 
I know Im fairly new to the whole blogging thing but I just wanted todays blog to be a big thankyou to all the people who take the time to read my blog, to comment, and to carry the discussion on further. The support has been overwhleming. So to all the people that have been following, Thankyou and to all the new people that are reading for the first time, I hope you enjoy.