Blue Shirt

If you have been following my story you will know that I live in one of the smaller Capitol cities in Australia. It has a small gay scene consisting of 1 pub and 1 club. A few years ago I had decided that I had my fill of the scene and stopped going. While I enjoyed it in the start, eventually it left me feeling more isolated than ever.

I reached out to other gay guys through Grindr but that never turned out to well. During the same time period I gained some weight and when I did feel ready to go back to the scene I felt like I couldn’t. I felt like no one would want me the way I looked now and I just couldn’t handle going to the club and having that confirmed. I couldn’t handle walking out knowing that not one guy even looked my way because I had let myself go.

Lucky for me I have some pretty amazing girlfriends. After a night of drinks n dinner for a friends birthday on the weekend my girls dragged my butt up the road to the gay pub. I was nervous, I felt sick, my stomach was doing backflips. We had a bit to drink and I was ready to hit the dance floor. If I wasn’t going to get hit on I was at least going to have fun!

We started dancing near a podium at the front of the club. That’s when I spotted one of the hottest guys I had ever seen. He was tall, muscular, tan with dark hair and was wearing a blue shirt. There was no way someone like that would be interested in someone like me but at least I could look. I kept dancing with my friends and eventually my group of friends was right next to his group of friends. Next thing I knew he was dancing up against me. I froze, I didn’t know what to do. In my head there was no way a guy like him could like a guy like me, but it was happening. Still confused I didn’t make a move and he moved away. I went out to smoke with my friends and shortly he followed. My girlfriends started talking to him and I got to shy and moved away. I couldn’t believe I had blown it again. The club closed pretty soon after that and I didn’t see him again.

I had a good time with my friends for the rest of the night and we all headed home together. I woke up the next morning and the conversation turned to blue shirt. Although I regretted not making a move, I was happy. I had been telling myself for a long time that I was too ugly or fat for anyone to hook up with. I had been using it as an excuse and letting it hold me back from doing things. Blue shirt proved that I was wrong and this is one circumstance where I’m very happy to be proved wrong.



Anzac Day

Today in Australia (and I’m assuming New Zealand too) it is a public holiday, Anzac Day. Today is the day we remember our soldiers. The day we give thanks for everything they went through so we could live the free lives that we live today. What those men gave up to make our lives better can never be repayed. Today I would like to dedicate my blog to the men and women who I will always owe my undieing gratitutde. Today I along with my fellow Australians say Thankyou.      They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
We will remember them.

Lest We Forget

Australia Day

Today, January 26th, is Australia Day! It’s probably my favourite day of the year. I’m pretty damn lucky to live in such an awesome country and today is the day I get to really celebrate it.

A normal Australia day for me starts off with getting dressed. Usually a pair of board shorts, a pair of thongs, a singlet and an Australian flag (Usually worn as a cape like I’m super Australia Man or something). Then it’s usually off to a BBQ somewhere and then it’s time to consume my own body weight in beer. This year is a little different. Every year in the city they have a giant fireworks display and this year I’m going to a BBQ on a boat on the river underneath the fireworks. Can’t get more Australian than eating a BBQ and drinking beer on a boat.

It’s not all about BBQ’s and beer though. There is something special about this day because there is something really special about this country. I don’t know if it’s because one of our core values is mateship or the fact that Australia’s the type of place where you call your best mate a cunt and all your mates have nicknames ending with zza. Today I’ll be spending my day with Stazza, Dazza and Tazza and hopefully they will call me a cunt. It’s the type of place where we drop the bullshit niceties and ridiculous manners and replace it with blatant raw honesty. It’s a place where we don’t take ourselves too seriously, to the point that we don’t even pronounce our own country correctly, most of us pronounce it Oz-tray-ya! It’s something special that can’t be described in words. It’s a feeling of pride and a feeling of gratitude that we get to live in one of the greatest places on earth. Being an Aussie is part of who I am and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So today all I want to say is

Happy Oz-tray-ya day cunts!