Each week my best friend and I compete to see who is better at things. This week we try to answer the age old question “Who is better at drawing with pancake batter?”
So… In my latest venture I have started a web series called Gay vs Girl. You can check it out here
Forgive me father, for I have blog sinned. I have not posted a blog in almost a month even after proclaiming to the Internet that I would return to this blog.
I could say that I have been busy, I have been working on new material, I have been toiling away on unpublished blogs. However this would be all lies. I have just been having a lot of fun!
I hope one day soon to write more, but until that day I hope I can stay in touch with all my blog buddies from around the world. To see what I’ve been up to find me on Instagram @timotheelee or click here Continue reading
Once upon a time there was a little gay boy who wrote all his thoughts on the Internet. He assumed that they would end up like 99% of the Internet and they would just drift off into cyberspace where nobody would ever read them ever again.
Today, on a random Thursday while sitting at my desk thinking of ways to while away my lunch break, I thought to myself “I should check out that old blog I used to write”. To my absolute shock, it had not drifted off into cyberspace. It had been read. A lot. By thousands and thousands of people. 2 years later, people were reading things about my life that I barely even remembered.
At first I panicked! What had I written? What had I put out there for people to read. Who were these people reading about my life? What did they know about me? While I was quite happy to share every aspect of my life with the world back then, that mind set did not reflect the person I am now. I had grown and changed and was so different from the person who wrote those posts.
After reading through a few of the posts cringing so hard that I wished the earth would just open up and swallow me whole, I got around to reading comments and emails from people who had read my posts. It was overwhelming the amount of people that said my experiences had resonated with them and even helped them. It was also kind of amazing to step back in time and see exactly where my head was at 2 years earlier.
I had never imagined that I would return to this blog but sometimes the best experiences in life are the ones you never imagined…
Before the cowboy, there was the punk. I didn’t really think he was much of a punk but he very much liked to think of himself as one so I went with it. He was about 5 years younger than me but we were very much on the same level of maturity. While the cowboy left me with scratches and bruises, the punk left me crippled with internal bleeding. In actuality he left me with swelling on the brain after running me over with his car one night. Yeah….. we were that dramatic couple.
We were on and off so often that at times even I found it hard to keep up with where we were at. We would fight and do the most dispicable things to each other and then go right on back to being Ty and the punk as if nothing had ever happened. This went on for over 2 years and by the end I was a shell of my former self. I had tried everything to make it work but in the end I realised you just cant turn dog shit into diamonds.
For most of the time that we were together I had a failing business. It constantly kept me down emotionally and mentally. I always felt like I wasnt a good enough provider and therefore a good enough boyfriend. Although in the end I realised that things were shit, there was still always a small part of me that thought “If I had money, maybe things would have been different”. That stupid thought planted itself deep in my brain and eventually became a belief. Somehow I started to believe that if I was to ever have a boyfriend again that I needed money…. and lots of it. The more money I had, the more guys that would be interested in me.
So recently I met this guy. We started chatting and he seemed really nice. It wasnt until after our first date that I realised this guy was easily the richest guy I had ever dated and not by a little bit either. He would be easily 10 times richer than the second richest dude I’ve dated. (Not that I only date rich dudes, my last boyfriend was unemployed) Anyway, this guy had all this money but he had no success with guys or relationships. I couldnt understand it. As I got to know him better I started to see why. While he absolutely ticked the box of being successful, other boxes like personality, humour and fitness were left very blank. He was everything that I wanted to be, my idea of “the ideal man” and yet even I didnt want to date him.
It made me realise that even if I do make a tonne of money. If I ignore all the other aspects of my life then guys still wont want to be with me. Im even starting to think that maybe a lot of guys dont put success at the top of their list when looking for a boyfriend. Maybe things like sense of humour, hot body, able to hold a conversation, great in bed are more important? What is the most important thing you look for in a guy?
Lesson for today: Having the perfect bank balance wont make me happy but being happy will make me perfect.
The moment I started blogging I started reading because, well, I didnt want to look like a dumb arse. I read as much as I could about gay culture so I could give a fair and some what knowledgable opinion in my posts. One of the things I first came across was “The Kinsey Scale”.
My understanding is that kinseys opinion is that there isnt just straight or gay. There is a range of sexuality. As you can see above 0 being straight and 6 being gay and a range of 5 different bisexuals between them. This seems absolutely strange to me. Maybe I am just sheltered, I know straight guys and I know gay guys, but I do not know 1 bisexual guy, let alone 5 different levels of bi guys! It seems completely unrealistic to me.
I would love to live in a world where people were open to varying levels of sexuality and I wish this scale where true but I just dont see it. Am I just being blind? Is this the case and I just dont see it? Most of all I want to know How Gay Are You? Im a 6, at best a 5. Where do you sit on the scale?
I am lucky enough that I dont look, act or sound gay. When I meet people for the first time, I never set off anyone’s gaydar. People always just make the assumption that I am straight. I would never ever say that I am straight acting as I never act straight. I just act like me, I just be myself and lucky for me, being myself never sets off anyones gaydar. Don’t get me wrong, there are times where I shake my shit to Lady Gaga and everyone in a 10 kilometer radius instantly knows I’m a homo, but 99% of the time this isn’t the case.
I know this isnt a luxury that a lot of gay men have. Some guys raise people’s suspicions about their sexuality just by the way they talk, the way they walk or the way they act. I am fortunate enough not to be one of these guys. It affords me the opportunity to reveal my sexuality whenever I please or feel is appropriate. I am very grateful for this as I would absolutely hate having to put on an act or not be myself just to ease people’s suspicions.
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be though. It does have it’s downfalls. I recently met some new people and straight away became one of the boys, drinking beers, talking bout “bitches” and all round being one of the lads. It’s great to be able to do this but the problem is that once I reveal my sexuality to them things change. I understand that, no straight guy wants to be best mates with a gay guy, and even if they do, the dynamic of the friendship undoubtedly will change.
Is this just me? Does any gay guy out there have a straight male best friend? Do you think your relationship with him is different than if you were both straight. I’d love to hear about a gay guy/ straight guy bromance that is unaffected by your sexuallity. Let me know in the comments or if anyone has an awesome story email me at email@example.com and I will post it on here for everyone to read.