So I had a blog all planned out and ready to go for today and then I saw this video. It blew me away. Its far more important that you watch this than read my blog. If you havn’t already seen it make sure you check it out. It’s the most amazing video I have seen in a long time. Makes me proud to be an Aussie but the message is true world wide.
What do you think? Do you love this video as much as I do?
So last night was my 10 year high school reunion. I’d watched Romy and Micheles High School Reunion way too many times to have any sort of realistic expectations of the night. All I knew was that I was about to walk into a room full of people who were from another life, a life where I was pretending to be straight and I had no idea what to expect.
I walked in and the first person I saw was her, the ex best friend who cut me out of her life 5 years ago because her boyfriend didn’t like me. I was in a whole world of awkward and I knew I wasn’t going to last long in this place, especially not sober! So I charged through to the bar and started with a double bourbon and coke.
While at the bar I scoped out the room. There wasn’t many people there yet but I did notice that barely anyone had partners with them. This made me a lot more relaxed. One of my biggest fears for the night was that everyone would be married and I’d be shunned to the single corner. As more and more people showed up I realized almost no one brought their partners. It was shaping up to be a good night after all.
There where a few moments where I did have to answer awkward questions like “where’s your girlfriend?” but overall most people already knew through Facebook and the response was overwhelmingly positive. I even had a couple of people bring up my blog. Big shout out to Dane and Rebecca, you guys made my night!
I’d always wondered what it would have been like if I came out in high school. It’s awesome to now know that if I had been ready to take that step back then, I would have had some good, accepting people around me.
I have been getting a lot of feedback about my blog – Face Off. So for all of you have been asking, Here is what happened.
So against my better judgement and swayed by a few comments on my last post, I decided to meet up with Travolta. We both have very busy schedules so it was hard to find a time. I thought since we worked down the road from each other it would be easy. How wrong I was. The first week he couldn’t do Monday or Wednesday, and I couldn’t do Tuesday or Friday. So I was pretty sure it was all on for Thursday. On Wednesday he never came online so Thursday morning I shot him a quick message saying “Hey, we still on for today?” and got no reply. Then the next day he started chatting again as if nothing had happened. I let a few days pass and didn’t bring it up. The next week rolled around and he messaged me and I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to pin him down for a time. I wasnt going to let him get out of it this easy. He tried to skate around the topic and throw a few vague dates or times that he might be able to meet up but I wanted something more concrete. The harder I pushed the more I realised he was never going to meet up and this was all just some sort of game to him. My temper got the better of me. I am a pretty impatient person and I had been waiting months to see this guys face, it was getting beyond a joke! I sent a few abusive messages about him wasting my time and logged out. I took some time to think and logged back on. A lengthy discussion followed but at the end of the day I realised I was wasting time and energy that I could be spending on someone who was genuinely interested and had far less issues (and who’s face I could actually see). So that became the deal breaker.
I’m a big believer that if you want something bigger or better in your life you have to make room for it. You can’t pick up diamonds while your hands are full of dog shit. So I decided to let go of something that wasn’t working for me to make room for something that will. The funny thing is as soon as I did, a lot more opportunities started coming my way, But that’s another blog for another day.
The other day I took some time off work to go visit my mum in hospital. I had to get off the train in the city to get a connecting train and thought I would stop and get some lunch. After walking around for what seemed like forever, trying to find something that was healthy, that I didn’t have to queue for half an hour and that accepted eftpos, I finally got my lunch and sat down in the piazza. Half way through my lunch I heard a giant boom box and wondered what it was. When I finished eating I headed straight over to see what was going on. There was a crowd of people and in the middle was a mime. He was so entertaining I ended up staying and watching for 45 minutes. I caught a bit of his performance on my phone.
This video didn’t really capture how amazing he was, I wish I had filmed more. He had the whole audience captivated, myself included. There was not one point throughout his whole performace where I thought I should get on my way or leave.
The thing that made this guy amazing though was, not only did he entertain me but left me with an awesome message. At the end of his performance he said “This isnt my hobby, this is my job. I used to work in a bank and make people sad, now I work in the street and I make people happy”. Now Im not saying anyone should quit their job, but if this guy can dedicate his life to making people happy, Im sure I could spare 5 or 10 minutes a day to make others happy. Imagine if we all did it!
Most people don’t know this about me but I wish I looked gayer. I always get told “you dont look gay”, “I never would have guessed you were gay”, “you look so straight”. I know everyone means it as a compliment. But deep down inside, I wish I looked gay. I have tried so many times to pull off a gayer look. Scarves, vests, extreme haircuts, skinny leg jeans, all just end up making me look like a weird douche bag! I cant pull off the gay look!
It seems to me that in the gay community, “straight acting” or “straight looking” is something that alot of gay men aspire to be. So here are my top reasons why it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
Sometimes I just wish that the way I looked on the outside said something about the type of person I am. At the moment the way I look is a misrepresentation of who I am.
If I looked gay then people would know I was gay from the minute I met them. When you look straight, people just assume you are straight which then creates this awkward moment where you have to correct them and pretty much come out to them.
My top reason for wanting to look gayer… Being easily identifiable to other gay guys! The other day, this cute gay guy sat next to me on the train and I couldn’t help but think that maybe if I looked gay too he would maybe start up a conversation with me. The ability to be able to be spotted by other gay guys and get picked up or hit on would be awesome!
The grass is always greener on the other side I guess. What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.
On my facebook page a few weeks ago I asked for the “Top questions straight girls ask gay guys”. Below is the video featuring the top 3 questions. If you want to play a part in future videos make sure you “like” the facebook page!
I started talking to Travolta on grindr about 4 months ago. I call him Travolta coz he takes the face off all his grindr pictures and it reminds me of that John Travolta movie, Face Off.
Normally I won’t talk to anyone who doesn’t have a face pic but he was 400 meters away so I wanted to see if he worked in my company. Turns out we pretty much work on the same street. It also turns out that he’s a really nice guy. We started chatting daily. Then the weirdest thing happened, I started developing feelings for him. I had never even seen his face but I couldn’t help it, I liked the guy!
We kept chatting daily and things seemed to be progressing nicely, I thought it was time to test the waters. I threw a few comments around about wanting a boyfriend and immediately Travolta froze. I eventually got a lengthy message about “that’s not what I’m looking for, I don’t want a boyfriend and I hope you know that this isn’t what this is”. I was a bit startled by the whole situation. I was so sure he was into me. I kept thinking “how could I have been so wrong?” He seemed so interested, but if he didn’t want me I wasn’t going to pursue things.
So after that whole ordeal I stayed away from Grindr for a bit. But about a month later boredom led me back and guess who was one of the first people to message me, Travolta. He was even keener than last time and we seemed to be getting along better than ever before. Something had changed, he would message every day. He was cute and sweet and charming. I found myself swooning for the boy once again and this time I knew he was into me! We even had a chat about where things were leading and decided to meet. And that’s when I freaked out.
I got scared, I didn’t want to put my feelings on the line again for him to squash and I had still never even seen his face. I was freaking out but at the same time got snowed under at work. So the idea of a relationship went on the backburner and so did meeting Travolta. He messaged a few times but I really didn’t have the time to reply, let alone know what to say.
A few weeks passed and then recently I received a long message from him. It touched on a few things but mainly was asking what went wrong, why I went so quiet after things where going so well? I replied and we had a long long chat. Since then he has become even sweeter and really wants to meet. What should I do? What would you do? Have you ever developed feelings for someone who you have never seen? Would you meet Travolta? Let me know in the comments below.