So todays blog is a little different from my usual style. Usually I write about a topic, something that I have been thinking about or something specific that has been going on in my life. Today I am just going to do a general overall update of whats been going on in my life lately.
I’ll start off by apologising. In the past fortnight I have moved house and I’m settling into a new routine. On top of that I am currently “between computers” as my comnputer decided to get a virus and die. So at the moment I have been updating the blog from my iphone and havent been able to keep the blog as up to date as I would like to. So for those of you who noticed and emailed, I should be getting back to twice weekly blogs soon enough. Thanks for the emails and the support guys. Its been great!
Speaking of support, I have to say a massive Thankyou to all you guys for the emails, messages, comments, tweets that I have recieved supporting me on my weight loss journey. The support for my video has been incredible, more than I could have ever imagined, so if you took the time to message me Thankyou! I will be putting up a video in the next week or so about my progress and journey so keep an eye out for that one.
Another blog that I received a lot of feedback from was the “To Fuck or not To Fuck” blog. So many guys said that they felt exactly the same way. It was great to hear from so many of you that said you were looking for real relationships not short term fun. It helped me make my decision and also break the stereotype that “all of us are just looking for sex”. So for you guys who read it and agreed, please know that there are so many guys out there who feel exactly the same as you do.
I know Im fairly new to the whole blogging thing but I just wanted todays blog to be a big thankyou to all the people who take the time to read my blog, to comment, and to carry the discussion on further. The support has been overwhleming. So to all the people that have been following, Thankyou and to all the new people that are reading for the first time, I hope you enjoy.
So if you are a gay guy who has ever had a boyfriend you have probably been asked this question, if you have a gay friend you have probably asked this question.
Who’s the man and who’s the woman in the relationship?
So first let me just state the obvious, there is no woman in the relationship! They are both the man! That’s kind of the point of being in a gay relationship. Gay relationships don’t have to consist of a male role and a female role.
Society generally grooms young boys to fit the straight male role. Part of coming out is standing up and saying No, that role is not who I am. I am something different and I want something different in my life to what you are telling me to want. Gay men are in the unique position where we have had to go through something that has made us brave enough and strong enough to lead a different life from what is expected of us and this is also true of our relationships. If we choose, we can have something different from the traditional roles society dictates to us.
When it comes to relationships, everyone has this choice. How many straight relationships do you know where the woman quite clearly is the dominant partner? Does this make her a man? Does this make her boyfriend a woman? No. I know of straight relationships where they are both “the man” and other relationships where they are both “the woman”. This is nothing new.
I am totally guilty of answering this question “he’s the man” or “he’s the woman”, because it’s easier than trying to explain the concept of “we are both the man”. So I’m going to challenge myself and all you gay guys out there to put the time and effort in to explain gay relationships as best you can. Gay men have a difficult enough time dealing with their masculinity, it just makes it even harder when you are trying to type cast them as a woman. If we all try to be a little more open minded and explain things a little clearer we can make the world a better place.
Have you ever asked/ been asked this question? Let me know in the comments below.
So as you may already know, (If you follow my facebook page ——>) my phone got stolen out of my locker at the gym about a month ago. I had to go through the long process of getting a replacement phone, but my phone company finally came through with the goods and delivered a brand new shiny white Iphone 4 to my work. It was all pretty exciting except for the fact that I never ever sync my phone (who can be bothered, it takes so long!) so there was no point in hooking it up to my computer and syncing it. So I have been walking around with a blank Iphone, slowly remembering apps and things that I like and putting them back on.
Today, while extremely bored on the train I remembered Grindr. So I logged on and because I was fresh meat on there, I was flooded with messages. I forgot about how many people message you straight out asking for sex. Now Im not going to pretend Im an angel. I have testoterone flowing through my veins just like any other guy. I have urges or needs or whatever you like to call them, but if you have read my other blogs you will know I have made a decision to wait for Mr Right. If you have read my other blogs you will also know that it has been a very long time since I’ve had sex. As time goes on I’m starting to wonder more and more, Am I doing the right thing or Am I just depriving myself?
I would like to have sex again, I mean, its fun and I like it (Im not a complete weirdo!), but I just dont think Im one of those people who can go out and have sex for the sake of sex. I have had casual sex before but, I dont really like it. I always say “Sex without feelings is like beer without alcohol, theres just no point to it”. I’m not saying its wrong, or that you are a bad person if you do it. I am simply saying, it’s not for me. I almost wish it was, things would be alot easier! I have a friend who has alot of sex for the sake of sex and he says that afterwards he feels empowered and good about himself. When I do it I dont feel good about it at all. Is it just built in to me as a person? Is it something I can change? I think it comes down to what I do and don’t like, I know I like waking up to the same face every day. I know I don’t like looking at my phone wondering if I will ever hear from “that guy I fucked last week” ever again. Maybe its just my perspective on it that is stopping me from enjoying it? Or maybe its time to accept myself, admit that this is who I am and embrace it. What do you think? Can I change and more importantly, Should I change? Let me know in the comments below or connect with me on facebook, twitter or any of the links to your right.
So they say the first step to overcoming a problem is admitting you have one. Here’s my big secret, watch me “come out” about it in the video below.
So one of the best things about having your own blog is that you get to share your message with the world. But sometimes someone else just says your message a whole lot better than you can so today Im dedicating my blog to the guys and girls at FCKH8.com Watch the video “Top 5 reasons people choose to be gay” and check out their website.
It’s been 7 hours and 15 days, since you took your love away….. Sinead O’Conner once sang in her song Nothing Compares to You. Well for me its been more like 7 months and 15 days since I broke up with my last boyfriend (Im totally not counting, thats a rough guess) and Im cool with that, things change, people move on, things happen for a reason. I have had enough time to accept all that. The problem being in that time, I havent had sex…….. at all. I think this is the longest I have gone without sex since I came out. Not that Im a slut or anything. I have always believed that guys wanna fuck the sluts but marry the saints, so I have always been very selective about who I sleep with. Nobody wants to go to the club that anyone can get into, yet people will line up in the cold, all night, to get into the club where they only let a select few in. Thats the theory I have always applied anyway.
After 7 months though, theres an itch that needs to be scratched and I started thinking, have I got it all wrong? Am I missing out on a good thing because of holding onto my prudish ways? These thoughts have been kicking about in my mind for at least the past month and then I saw this quote on twitter by @singlegaylife “Have you ever noticed sluts are always the nice guys? Prude guys are always bitches.” My instant reaction was No Way! and then I started thinking about some of the guys I knew who were a bit more, lets say, experienced, and in general they were overall happier, nicer, more carefree guys. I know all my worries seem to melt away when I’m getting some action and they do say sex is a great stress reliever. Maybe being less stressed from more sex equals a happier life, maybe I have had it all wrong all this time.
I am by no means saying to go out and sleep with as many people as you can or that being a slut is good or even ok, but what I am starting to think is that maybe being a prude isn’t healthy either. Maybe theres a middle ground? Lifes all about balance and I’m starting to think that this is any area of my life that is imbalanced.
What do you think? Is sleeping around good for you? Is it all just a bit of harmless fun or do you think sex is for husbands only? Let me know in the comments below or hit me up on one of the links to your right.